Like many of us, the last two years have eroded what remained of my ability to care about what other people think of me. So I just put away all my makeup.
This is going to be a big old tip off if any readers weren’t sure where I stood on the gender spectrum. If you know me and you’re reading this, do whatever you want with the information.
Curious? Concerned? Indifferent? Nervous?
So the fuck am I.
But I just put away my makeup. This isn’t as big a step as for someone who was a real completist. Having naturally good skin which I have maintained with sunblock and a tendency not to fuck with things, I have rarely used foundation. In fact I’ve never contoured anything beyond a topographical map. I have no serious attachment to any sort of skin care regime beyond washing my face with a soap-free gel when I shower, and using one basic lotion.
I am not young, (and you can read back through this blog to confirm this) and chasing the dragon of appearing young looks to me (sorry) like a fool’s game. Adherents to 18-step Korean systems, you do you, but my genes and my tendency to stay out of the sun mean I was never going to put any more time into my face than I do already.
So I just put away my makeup.
Over the last few years I have invested less and less time in traditional feminine gender markers. I don’t have a philosophical or even really logical reason for this. But I look at dresses and I can’t remember why I liked wearing them.
Pretty dresses. Lovely things I’ve kept for years so I could lose weight and wear them again. I am sitting here right now thinking of what would make me put one of them on right now. My beloved saying “please wear this dress” would do it. Or a costume. But day to day?
I just put away my makeup.
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