Colorado

Thank god it was news

And not something you learned of later

A sidenote in someone else’s history

Thank god that it breaks hearts

That we call it what it is

A crime, a tragedy

Thank god we know it happened

And we don’t call it a joke

Pretend it doesn’t matter

Once, nobody cried when our lives were cut short

Once, daring to live your life meant you 

Deserved such a death

Destroyed in the act of acceptance

Immolated by a false fear

This underhanded belief 

masking itself as love

Yet our lives still matter less

Yet still we mourn

We rage

We do not deserve this

This death

These denials

Here, we stand

Here and now

No defeat

No erasure

No surrender

It is you who made this a war

It is you who are defeated

When all we ever wanted was peace

(June 2023)


This is not the most sophisticated poem, in that it makes its claims more overtly than others I have written.  The power of poetry is its ability to sidestep a facet of society and/or the human experience, not to avoid it but to observe it differently. 

Black and white divisions are for chessboards, not for people.   The natural world is characterized by permeable membranes.  Things must pass into you, out of you, through you, in order for you to be alive.  Parts of you are always dying and other parts being reborn and the idea that anything is static is simply that, an idea which says nothing about how reality actually behaves. 

The opposite of freedom isn’t imprisonment, it’s surveillance.

Common sense

Daily writing prompt
Describe something you learned in high school.

“High school?  Shit, I’ve been trying to forget it.  All I learned is that everyone’s so steeped in their own BS by the time they get there that most of us don’t learn a thing. Sure, it’s good for kids to be taught not just science and math but how to read, how to think, how to get to know other people. But the way most high schools are run, they’re not much better than jail.  Just a way to keep kids off the streets so old people feel safe walking about and adults don’t have anyone coming after their jobs.  I mean, if everyone really gave a shit about kids, they’d pass some gun laws.”

Object Permanence

once upon a time

things stayed as they were

when you made a thing

it stayed that way forever

once there were things

and they stayed as they were

we have gone from that time

how young we were

which face is yours

it’s an old photograph

and I can’t tell now

it doesn’t matter

here my face is here

and here is yours

I forgot who stood between us

(2022)

WHAT RUINED ME Episode 1: ‘Orlando’ by Virginia Woolf

I was perhaps nine when I read Orlando. My mother was a literature major, and our house was chockers with Penguin Classics with their orange and black and pale green spines. I’m confident that in letting me read whatever books I liked, she did not intend to implant in me the idea that one could just…become another gender.

Becoming ‘other’ was already a given in my mythology. Animals become heroes.  Ordinary children become mighty kings and queens. Wardrobes become portals, and the very best parties turn into treasure hunts.  As long as you know where your towel is, the rest will work itself out, more or less. I was thus very comfortable with the idea of waking up one day as someone else and it all being perfectly manageable and not at all like hell (Kafka aside).

The matter-of-factness in Orlando is one of its strengths. Though the book is about gender, it is not really about trans identity, which at the time of its writing was certainly extant but not under such terms as we know it today. Orlando doesn’t consciously surrender their gender. It is instead taken away by unspecified means, which are beside the point as Orlando goes on to navigate their new gender while retaining the perceptual filters of their first.

Can I confess to remembering very little otherwise? Adult attempts at reading Woolf have been troublesome. Her style of writing is an effort to read, and I am generally disinterested in domestic dramas, so there go most of her plots. This book is however iconoclastic, and is up there with Voltaire’s Candide and Orwell’s Animal Farm as a literary classic worth trying to get people to read when they’re far too young.

Can’t be arsed reading? There’s a film… https://www.indiewire.com/2012/09/heroines-of-cinema-tilda-swinton-and-sally-potters-orlando-44615/